Do You Think My Insurance Covers This?

My head scans our memories
Like an X-ray
I am the doctor my mother always wanted me to become

“And here!” I explain out loud
“Is when you could have walked away”
I bite the lips you used to love.
“No, I’m sorry! Where you should have walked away.”

I shake my head. My devotion made more evil than their cruel carelessness. My soul collapses in shame.

“You made the fracture worse, you see?
Seems like there are years of contusions here, do you remember any of them? Why do you keep walking on this broken bone?”

I ask my most fragile self, sitting on a cold, metal slab
Barely clothed in thin blue material.

“I thought I was better, I thought he was better”

“When was that? 1996? 2004? Any time between ’08 and ’12? Wasn’t the most important one in 2014?”

I ask the self that is sitting on that tray, she is picking at her nails.

“Silly girl, you should have dropped that habit years ago!”

I keep scanning.

“Ah! My apologies!”

Doctor me says as she taps her clipboard with her Pilot G2 (What a pen! What a gal! What a memory!).

“2018! That was the most recent fracture, and the most important one, correct?”

Right. I smile as I feel the cold metal press up against me, so similar to you.

Clank clank clank
Clank clank

Is that your heart, darling?

Clank clank

Better scan again